


In Denial

by Ghost_Writer86



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 03:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11523480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writer86/pseuds/Ghost_Writer86
Summary: Alicia has a hard time talking about her feelings about Jake Otto





	In Denial

Alicia will not say it or admit it, she will deny it when someone asks and her respond “it´s just sex, nothing more”, her mother will just nod and Nick will just shake his head, roll his eyes and keep looking at her like he is taunting her, while Ofelia normally laughs and puts a hand on the younger woman´s shoulder before saying “if that lets you sleep at night, yes it´s only sex”.

Walker and Troy are the ones who surprise her, Walker tells her that in the world they live now, it´s better if you said how you feel before it´s too late, this is one night after Jake takes her back to her house, she doesn´t see the man standing close to the entrance so she jumps when he speaks, she is standing there watching the boy walking back to his house.

“I have to say that of all the Otto´s he is not the worst” Alicia turns to look at the man and nods she can admit that Jake isn´t like his father or his brother, all those late night after sex conversations had let her see more of him, “you know, life in this new world is too short we don´t have as much time as we thought and sometimes keeping feelings to ourselves isn´t so good”, she looks at the man and raise an eyebrow.

“Mm! what that’s supposed to mean” she asks, he smiles and says “at the difference of your mother, your eyes say a lot I had seen the way you look at him, I see the way you make sure he doesn´t overworks himself or how you share his burdens”.

“I´m not in love, I had been in love before and this is not like that” she responds, Walker smiles, actually smiles and proceeds “been in love when you are a teen isn´t the same as when you are an adult” then he waves goodbye to her and walks away.

With Troy is actually some sort of weird funny and scary situation that makes them talk about feelings.

It happens one of those days when the animosity between Walker´s people and the people of the ranch can be felt, Walker sends a group to collect things and Troy being the “my team can do better than your team” kind of guy decides that he and his militia should go get provisions too.

Madison is unavailable to go with him after she accidently hurt herself trying to fix a fence, Alicia offers to go, Jake pales as he sees her walking towards Troy asking him when they are leaving, he looks at Madison who seems to be about to jump and said she will go, Troy on the other hand seems pleased that his “sister” has decided to come with him.

As they are getting ready to leave Madison, Nick and Jake try to talk Alicia out of it both her brother and mother offer to go, Jake does too but he knows there is no way back so he kisses her and gives her an extra gun and asks if she has her knife, she nods, they are there talking when Troy starts making gagging noises and tells them to not do that in front of him, Alicia turns to look at him and flips him the bird with a fake smile, causing him to laugh and said “I like my little sister in law, you can keep her” Alicia responds with a “Fuck You” which Madison chastises, Jake flips the bird to his brother too before whispering to her “don´t let him get to you, he has fun making people angry so just ignore him”, Alicia sighs and nods before the blasting of metal music and the horn of the car make her close her eyes, “I can´t promise you I will bring him back alive” Jake smiles and kisses her forehead.

  Everything goes well she even stops idiot Troy from trying to go after Walker´s group, but her luck goes away after Troy decides that he wants to play with the infected and the group gets separated, she ends with Troy. Then they hear the others leaving with the trucks.

Troy yells and calls them cowards, Alicia finally finds an empty building she pulls Troy in and they stay there.

“I should just let them eat you” she says as they hear the grunts of the infected.

Troy laugh from where he is sitting, he looks calm and says “Then who would take you back to the ranch”.

The girl responds“who says I want to go back, why would I want to go back”, Troy raises an eyebrow “well there are your brother and your mother” Alicia huffed since everything that had happened her relationship with her brother and mother had become more strained, she spend as much time as she could away from them.

“They  care for you and I don´t know what happened between you guys but I know that your mother is hurting because you seem to avoid them like you are avoiding the pest”, Alicia looks away, if he only knew, she would probably be dead by now.

Then he says “and Jake, he would go crazy if something happened to you” the girl laugh and responds “I doubt that”, the brown haired man shook his head “I may not understand a lot about feelings, but I recognize those that confuse me the most and love is one of them, and Jake and you are in love I have not a doubt about it” he said confident enough.

“How can you be so convinced about it if you don´t understand those feelings, your brother and I are comfortable with each other but that´s it, we only have sex and you know what its none of your business” she turns and pretends she is going to sleep but it was obvious Troy wasn´t having it.

“That is bullshit and you know it I know what is having sex without feelings I had done it a fair share of times” he says, Alicia looks at him pretending to be shocked before saying “I mourn for the poor girls, did you buried them in the backyard, Norman?”.

For a moment she thinks she has crossed a line as he stays quite but then he lets out a loud laugh he keeps going on for a moment before calming down “You know your classics” he replays with an amused smile, Alicia rolls her eyes and responds “what can I said, it´s hard to forget them with you around” he laugh again “I like you and I know you are in love, just make sure you tell him, God knows my brother needs someone who loves him for the sappy idiot he is and I know that person it´s you and you know  we are living in borrowed time, so make sure he knows “, then he turns and the next few seconds were filled with his snores.

When they return to the ranch, Madison runs towards them Alicia can see Jake stopping before moving towards Troy who speaks first “don´t worry your woman kept me in my lane and she didn´t doubt to slap sense into me and I kept her safe” this causes the older guy to turn red and look at Alicia who could see how tired he looks, she smiles before mockingly say “It was all my pleasure and don´t worry I won´t doubt to slap sense into you whenever its needed”.

Jake looks at her for a second as if to ask her if she is ok, Alicia nods before she being dragged by Madison towards their house, Ofelia behind them whispering “he wanted to go to find you and he hadn´t slept in three days”.

Needless to say that night Alicia walks into his quarters and without saying anything she slips into his bed and fell asleep and maybe she did noticed how he held her tighter or how he sighed in relief and maybe she held his arm tighter and her heart skipped a beat but this wasn´t love this was just two adults with an agreement.

But then again life has a way to let us show how we really feel and even thought her old self would had wanted a romantic way to finally admit her feelings; like when she and Matt said their first I love you´s while watching the stars, but her new self is just happy that she could said it at all.

It´s one afternoon she is at the medical bay checking some of the ill and helping the doctors, one from Walker´s team and one for the ranch, that is when she hears a truck stopping outside and Troy frantically asking for help, she comes out and sees him.

Jake is covered in blood Walker is helping Troy carry the almost dead man into the room, both doctors start working on him, Alicia can hear what they are saying but it sound so foreign “he has four bullet wounds” one doctor says, the other follows “one on his shoulder, one on his leg, one on his chest and one on his head” Alicia feels like the air leaves her lungs, she can hear Walker trying to calm Troy and then she hears her mother too trying to pull the boy outside, then she hears one of the doctors said “he was lucky the one on the head is a scratch still he is losing blood we need blood.

That is what pulls her out of the fog, she moves towards the nurse who is bringing some of the blood bags she looks a little underwhelmed and says “we don´t have enough” Alicia pulls her sleeve up and the nurse nods, “I´ll be back in a minute get ready”.

It´s hours later and the doctors had done everything they can they say it’s up to him, Jake is handcuffed to the bed and Alicia has her knife in her pocket, Troy is sitting at the other side and he looks like an scared little boy.

“It was my fault, I started the fight with Roger, if I hadn´t then Jake being the softy idiot he is wouldn´t had tried to protect me” his voice cracks.

Alicia smiles sadly “he feels it´s his duty to protect you, believe me when you grow up thinking that way no matter how hard you try to fight it becomes part of you, that is why even in the apocalypse I clean Nick´s vomit”, Troy looks up eyes filled with tears and he nods, they speak for the rest of the night he shares stories of their childhood, some are sad others are funny.

It´s two days later after Ofelia convinces her of going to sleep to her room, she returns a while later and she stands there, the bed is empty, fresh sheets and all, she feels her eyes sting with tears until she hears Ofelia said “she wouldn´t leave your side I send her home so she could sleep some” she turns and walks towards the other row of beds Troy is sitting there he looks more like his manic normal self.

And then she sees blue worried eyes staring at her, before he can say anything she speaks first “you idiot, you almost get yourself killed, what the hell were you thinking? You aren´t  bullet proof” the room is quite, Ofelia and Troy and the two doctors are staring at Alicia with shocked expressions, before Ofelia says they should leave and the other three follow probably scare that the girl would go in a killing rampage.

Jake looks at her and  says “I´m sorry, but I wasn´t going to let that idiot kill my brother, no matter how stupid and crazy he is, well he is my brother and I thought you better than anyone would understand”.

“I do understand but it was sill stupid” she says she is more calm now, even though she is breathing hard, he nods because yes it was stupid.

She moves towards him and sits next to the bed, he smiles and holds her hand, “I swear that for a moment out there I thought I was cursed”, he looks at her with a confused expression before she continues “It seems like I have a tendency of losing the men I love” she explains.

A second goes by before their eyes go wide and then he says “so it´s not just sex then?” she sighs and looks away “shut up” he laugh “don´t worry I love you too” Jake comments.

She rolls her eyes before smiling and replying a simple “good”.

So yes she is in love and maybe she will say it out loud for as long as the violent world they live now will let her.


End file.
